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 Issue
7
After insulting the C++ Mafia, senior developer Angie Baxter’s been exiled
to Hull, where local DOS hero Graham wants to win her over to the text-mode way of
working. Will she succumb, or can she escape?
Monday
When I joined the Customer Auto Scheduling project, Carl told me I’d be going to Hull
and back. I thought he meant Hell, but no, it was Hull, and that’s where I am now,
supposedly running client-side tests but actually still being punished for the “C++
prima donnas” jibe which so outraged the Sensitive Twosome. On my last escape back to
civilisation I told Mike that I didn’t see how hanging around here would improve my
server-side skills (I still don’t know a thing about MTS), but he seems to have
accepted Carl’s story that live bandwidth testing is essential for fine-tuning the
server code. Meanwhile I’ve started developing a strange nostalgia for Southampton
Depot, and I’m going to kill Carl the next time I see him.
Tuesday
Surprisingly, Hull Depot has its own IT department (they call it “DP”), staffed
by Graham, who looks as if he doesn’t get out much. Graham can write 8086 assembler
and MS-DOS batch files, and seems to think I should find this very impressive. I
don’t, but then my Dynamic HTML skills don’t cut much ice with him either.
Graham’s job is to maintain an ancient DOS-based accounting system which the local
management refuses to give up. Foolishly, I make a joke about character-mode terminals,
which gets him started on how the PC needed to run my CAS client is bigger than the server
for his entire 16-screen system. He then asks if I’d like to meet him for a drink
later. Saying I’d love to (but definitely can’t - ever), I back towards the door
and consider offering Carl hard cash to bring me home.
Wednesday
Another day, another test. During our phone briefing Carl - the swine - asks if I’ve
met Graham yet. That does it, and I tell him to get me back to Head Office right now or
I’m driving back anyway to perform irreversible surgery on him. This plays straight
into his hands, and he delivers his “Calm down now, Ange” speech loud and clear
so that everyone around him can hear it. Sure enough, ten minutes later Mike calls to
remind me that if I want to play in the big league then I’ve got to handle the tough
jobs. Recognising a really professional stitch-up when I see one, I accept my fate
(temporarily, at least) and start writing “address line 3 overflows screen control
when > 40 chs” on a bug report.
Thursday
Denny’s taken over as chief tormentor, ringing me up to say they’ve started
using Rational Rose 98 for server-side modelling, but plan to stick with Irrational Angela
97 for client-side work. I refuse to bite, so instead he starts on about what a notorious
dump my Business-Inn hotel is. Ignoring him, I ask if he’s going to run a crash
recovery test. He says yes, but the system crashes for real and I wait for an hour while
he recovers it manually. Graham then arrives and says that five nights in my hotel costs a
week’s wages. This says a lot about wage levels in Hull (and makes me wonder if
Graham’s listening in on my phone calls) but also gives me an idea. I ring Penny at
the office, swear her to secrecy, and ask for a favour. If the plan works, Hull - and
Graham - will soon be just a bad memory.
Friday
I’m going home for good! Mike says it’s a “revised strategy”, but
Penny says he had no choice after Bill Hammond told this morning’s board meeting that
he wasn’t paying for IT developers to spend weeks in luxury hotels while his drivers
roughed it in their cabs. Breaking every speed limit, I get back in time to wish Carl and
Denny a happy weekend. They respond with a grudging show of respect for my escapology
talents, and ask how I managed it. I reply that, while they may know all about TCP/IP, you
need a different type of networking skill if you’re going to survive in the office
jungle. They go off making “she’s flipped” gestures and I take Penny for a
well-earned spritzer. More Brilliant Baxter than Irrational Angie, I think, even if I say
so myself.
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Issue 7 - Contents
< Previous Angie -- Next
Angie >
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Issue 1
Issue 2
Issue 3
Issue 4
Issue 5
Issue 6
Issue 7
Issue 8
Issue 9
Issue 10
Issue 11
Issue 12
Issue 13
Issue 14
Issue 15
Issue 16
Issue 17
Issue 18
Issue 19
Issue 20
Issue 21
Issue 22
Issue 23
Issue 24
Issue 25
Issue 26
Issue 27
Issue 28
Issue 29
Issue 30
Issue 31
Issue 32
Issue 33
Issue 34
Issue 35
Issue 36
Issue 37
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